Healthcare Lobby... Shitty as EVER!!!!!

As i was watchind teh news recently, what had struck me of course was the parts about the healthcare lobbies. In his new position as First Black President, Barock Obama had said he would REFORM LOBBIES but, I will now assure you that even thogh HEALTHCARE LOBBY SPENDING IS UP a large number of percentiges at tihs time, i had gone to the doctor jsut the other day and those chairs were still just as uncomfterble as ever and those chidrens toys r the SAME GODDAM TOYS they had had since 1981!!

And plus they're magazine perscriptions was STILL Older then SHIT and half of they' goldfish is STILL DEAD like just renew your perscription and feed your fuckin fish, jesus. your a DOCTOR for fuckin sake!! we all now u aint poor..

Lobby reform MY FAT PURPLE ASS... AND everything including they dirty old carpet is still turquois and pink like its 1993, and all all still smells like a scotchtape and the tv was still SUPER small. so all I AM SAYIG IS the following things: If ur into reforming the lobbies, GET OFF UR ASS AND MAKE THIS shit more comfterble!!! I'm taking about: put up some nice fluffy sectional couches anda 45 inch plasma screen and put up a minibar or at LEAST A STARBUCKS up in their so we can get at least get all happy and it won't smell like tape. AND get those fish outa there cause nobody care about a smellyass fish as long as theirs a NICE TV WITH TYRA ON IT.

shoot. ;*

Aks Moanna, volume 1

Hello and welcome back to hte Moanna Show lol, as I am now at my computer at this time, so we can get deeper in it. As bernie and i have prevusly disgust, were going to have a column andcall it "Aks Moanna" where they aks me questions about my lifestlye and i tell them where to put it. As you may have known, i have had a long histry of aksing questions about health services and, so its time to begin. Today Bernie has issued me somequestions in loo of a proper readership at this time. But next time they maybe readership questions for me to answer so, if your a reader hey send that shit XPRESS!!!! ;*

The following Guest online had aksed me this question...
Burnie from New York: Dear Moanna, There is so much diet advice out there these days, how can I be certain which advice to take?

MM: first of OK shoot, all this media attention on diets is really whats briging you down you probly dont need to go a diet, im sure your just as cute the veluptuous lady standig before me lol. But no serious, but a lot of them have had to go on a diet cuz they had caught diabetis like my gramma.So if their had been a diet i was really in LUV with it was probably Atkins cuz i LUV some MEAT ;*. Like you can be all on a diet and get a whole string a sausage for jsut fived ollars you can bet im gonna get up on that! Also I love a sweaty steak or a porkshop or a hamburger and bitch ill eat some SHIT off some popcorn shremps, and thats also meat too dispite what the Vaticum had said.

Personaly i think however that vegetarians are jsut are idiots, just to be premptive on the attacks, because they ahd just thought there was enough nutrents for all they' needs in jsut one fuckin bean and that shit i just STUPID!

Thank you and I am eager to help the following guess with they're healthcare needs.. -Mo ;*

A Note about Openness...

Ah, yes. In the spirit of true transparency and fullest disclosure, Moanna has demonstrated one of the qualities that I hope will be a hallmark of the Bureaucrabs blog. She has openly corrected my error in public. In my previous post introducing her, I mistakenly referred to her as a "Customer Service Specialist". That is indeed not her proper title.

Now, I don't mean to belabor the point, but I really do feel like this is going to be important going forward.

Rather than harbor undue resentment at my apparent lack of sensitivity, or brush it off as a mere mortal's mistake, or even politely defer to an older and more experienced colleague, she simply and directly corrected me. I applaud that, and I welcome such criticism from others. I'm a good guy, but we all make mistakes, and I'd rather have the truth. Thank you, Moanna, for your honesty.

All Best,
Burnie

welcoming me

thank u burnie, i am not at my computer at this time as i had just got on the bus, so im posting from the phone but i think 1 important corection had to be made and that is i am a guess services specialist and not a customer service. We dont call them customers we call them Guess and they had been treatit as such. treated. ugh Stupid T9. neways u get it. more l8er. -Mo ;*

Sent from my Boost Mobile Razzberry.
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Introducing Moanna!!!

Greetings, folks! It's been a while, but we're still here!

I'm pleased to announce that after a month of only moderately aggravating delay, our first contributing writer has FINALLY signed her forms!

Please join me in putting our pincers together for Ms. Moanna Minotaur! Moanna currently resides in the DC area, but has lived in a number of cities throughout her fruitful life. She comes to us with an impressive resume of bureaucratic experience. For the last several years, Moanna has been a Customer Service Specialist in the call center of a prominent Health Insurance company. She has also worked for numerous suburban DMV's and BMV's, as well as three Starbuckses, a Kmart, and a JCPenny in the greater Atlanta area. She even enjoyed a brief stint as a shift supervisor at Rally's when her GM had to step away to take an emergency phone call.

Moanna will be a regular contributing writer to the Bureaucrabs blog in the Health Services area. She will be answering your questions about health and wellness from a seasoned professional's perspective.

Welcome, Moanna! I know I can speak for all of our readers when I say I look forward to being enriched by your presence!

Best,
Burnie

Gone Live!

Here we are! We've finally made it! Today's the date! We're GOING LIVE!

What? What's that you say? You've never heard the term "going live"!? How about "launching"? What? What kind of a bureaucrab are you? You'd better brush up on your mixed metaphors and convallusions, captain! 'Cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride! ;) lol!

I'll take the leap of faith here and assume you've never heard of a "convallusion" either. Normal protocol dictates, of course, that we be in contact with HR when questions of such profound ignorance arise, since HR is normally the department that handles ignorance. This one might even require a few compliance and best practices seminars before you really start to get a firm grip on it. And believe me, I know a lot about firm grips. I've been around the reef. ;P

For expediency's sake, however, I am authorized to give you a brief one- or two-line explanation. It follows:

"Convallusion", contrary to popular belief, is not a misspelling. Closely related to mixed metaphors, convallusions are allusions designed to be convoluted. (i.e., "Debra and Patricia had a difficult time navigating Gregory's labyrinthine prose. So shakespearean was his syntax, they could scarcely describe it as english! roflmao!"). Here we see allusions to both the mythological Labyrinth and the semi-historical, neo-mythological figure, William Shakespeare. Since sometimes one allusion is simply not sufficient to describe the extreme nature of a thing, two or more separate and completely non-related allusions may be necessary. Hence: Convallusion.

Please share some of your favorites with us at your earliest convenience!

In Good Faith,
-Burnie